Definitions in Construction
Feb/18/09 08:45 AM Filed in:
Jokes
Contractor - A gambler who never gets to
shuffle, cut or deal.
Bid Opening - A poker game in which the losing hand wins.
Low Bidder - A contractor who is wondering what he/she left out.
Engineer's Estimate - The cost of construction in Heaven.
Project Manager - The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.
Critical Path Method - A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.
OSHA - A protective coating made by half-baking a mixture of fine print, split hairs, red tape and baloney - usually applied at random with a shot gun.
Strike - An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken.
Delayed Payment - A tourniquet applied at the pockets.
Completion Date - The point at which liquidated damages begin.
Liquidated Damages - A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.
Bid Opening - A poker game in which the losing hand wins.
Low Bidder - A contractor who is wondering what he/she left out.
Engineer's Estimate - The cost of construction in Heaven.
Project Manager - The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.
Critical Path Method - A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.
OSHA - A protective coating made by half-baking a mixture of fine print, split hairs, red tape and baloney - usually applied at random with a shot gun.
Strike - An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken.
Delayed Payment - A tourniquet applied at the pockets.
Completion Date - The point at which liquidated damages begin.
Liquidated Damages - A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.